


Legacy

by tittysatan



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Gen, Intrusive Thoughts, RIP illumi, Self Harm, hallucination, vague mention of the vague unpleasant things illumi has done to his little brother
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-20 21:59:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14902823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tittysatan/pseuds/tittysatan
Summary: "He'll suffer for the rest of his life. And I'll live on forever in his heart...!"In which Illumi's prediction comes true.





	Legacy

Killua could feel eyes on him. Really _feel_ them, like a physical pressure against his skin, a faint itching burning aching sensation. Dark, empty, too-familiar eyes. _His_ eyes.

It wasn’t real, he knew that much. He’d taken the needle out, there wasn’t anything of his brother left in him, he’d made sure of that. And yet. And yet the sensation persisted, like a phantom limb, like phantom hands on him.

Killua would have torn his skin off if it meant he’d stop feeling it.

Those eyes, always watching; those hands, always touching; and worst, the voice in the back of his head that had never quite stayed silent as long as he’d lived.

Right now, it was saying _I told you so_.

 

* * *

 

“Killua-nii-san!”

He snapped back to reality with Alluka shaking him by the shoulders. His forehead hurt. Absently, he lowered his hand and stared at it. His fingers were bloody claws.

“You have to stop doing that!” Alluka said, digging through her bag for disinfectant and bandages. “It’s not there anymore, okay? You told me yourself, you took it out! And he’s gone, we’re never going to see him again!” She took his hands, bloodying her own fingers on his blood. “So please, Killua-nii-san, please…”

“…sorry,” Killua said, forcing a laugh, making a show of wincing as she dabbed at his forehead with the alcohol. “I just…” He didn’t have a way to finish that sentence. “…I’ll be fine, I promise, I just… I need some time, that’s all.” Which was a lie. He couldn’t promise anything. But he didn’t know what else to say.

Alluka didn’t reply, and there was something strange and sad and almost pitying in her eyes as she placed a bandaid over the gouge Killua had dug into his forehead.

“…you don’t feel bad, do you?” she asked, unable to meet his eyes. “I mean… I know he was your— _our_ brother, but…he would’ve… You had to…!”

“It’s not that,” Killua said.

_It’s that you invited me in, and now you want me out._

I didn’t.

_But it’s too late. I’m a part of you now. We’re finally one._

You’re not.

_We’ll always be together, Kil. You’ve made your big brother so happy._

Killua opened his mouth to speak, to scream, to drown out that soft sing-song _somehow_ , but Alluka was watching him with scared eyes, and he closed it again, and forced a smile. “I’m okay. Really.”

His sister didn’t say anything, but it was clear she didn’t believe him.

He couldn’t blame her. He didn’t believe himself either.

 

* * *

 

“I’m going to take you home with me.”

Killua and Alluka had been traveling together for a little over a month. It wasn’t very long at all, if you thought about it. An eyeblink. But they couldn’t even have that, could they.

It was night, and the moonlight was shining on Illumi’s pale skin, and burnishing his black hair silver, and yet his eyes were as hollow and lightless as ever.

“I don’t mean back to the manor,” Illumi continued. “I found a home where the three of us can live. Won’t that be nice?”

Killua could barely stand. He could feel it all around him, pressing at him, the weight of those hands and those eyes forcing him into a different shape, reaching inside him and pulling out everything beautiful and good that had grown there since he first ran away like they were so many weeds, making him into someone who could say “I love you, Illu-nii,” and mean it.

“You can’t,” he said. “I won’t let you,” he said. “If you ever try to touch me again, I’ll kill you,” he said.

Killua had escaped once, somehow, and he would rather die than ever go back.

Illumi’s laugh was dry leaves in the wind. “Come kill me, then.”

He’d expected a fight. He’d expected to lose, for Illumi to knock him out or paralyze him, drag him back into his lair, devour him slowly. As far as Killua was concerned, he was fighting for his life, or something more precious than even that.

He’d expected Illumi to dodge, catch his hand, push the strike off course, something, anything.

Illumi didn’t.

Killua’s claws bit into his chest and Illumi wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close, dark hair blocking out all light as it curtained him. “I’m so happy, Kil.” His heart was beating in Killua’s hand, his blood was hot and wet against him, and how was he only just realizing that Illumi had a pulse? He’d always seemed like marble until now. “Now you’re truly mine.”

Killua couldn’t speak. He’d made a mistake, that much was clear; terrible and irreparable, the full extent of which he couldn’t begin to grasp. His brother’s heartbeat was echoing through his body, and it was the most monstrous feeling in the world.

“Go on, Kil, just like I taught you,” Illumi murmured, and Killua killed him.

 

* * *

 

It was night. Alluka was fast asleep in the bed next to Killua’s, and he was here. He always came at night. Killua stared up at the ceiling, wide-eyed and motionless, as long, slender fingers ran through his hair.

You’re not real.

_Don’t be silly. Of course I am._

I took out your needle. There’s no more of your Nen in me.

_Do you think I need Nen to stay in my precious little brother’s heart?_

I hate you.

_I love you too, Kil._

Delicate arms, deceptively strong, wrapped around him, binding him.

_This is my legacy, passed down to my most beloved. This is my curse, laid on the one who killed me. There is no difference between the two._

_You will remember me._

“I won’t,” Killua said quietly. “I’ll forget you ever existed. That’s what you deserve.”

Illumi’s voice didn’t need to tell him he was wrong. He knew it already.


End file.
